Drinking is bad for you...

Oh, you say you're a smoker? Well drink up then!

Woundgallery.com.

Which wound's your favorite?

I'm now the #1 return when you type "Mulling it over" into Google!

I've added a new 'clean' theme to the blog today (which you might be looking at right now) and in the process I've crushed a bug which made the text in my blog appear choppy. It was very satisfying. I'm going to add more themes when I get back to Portland and Photoshop. This blog is screaming out for a new, graphics-laden theme to blow you all away.

Behold the list of MS employees who blog. It's very interesting to read the blogs of people who work for a ruthless monopoly. The writing is clear and concise, and there's a painful lack of creativity from most of them in terms of design. From browsing a random handful, I haven't found any that deviate from the standard design boilerplate. Shocking. Just shocking.

edited: I found someone creative! Wow.

This kills me...analog-driven matrix pong.

Embrace Islam, infidels. I'm giving Allah a coveted space in my Sidebar.

The Great Satan has attempted to silence Allah by crashing his server with massive amounts of traffic. Infidel! Do you not know that Blogger is indestructible?

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month, leaving us in higher than ever unemployment.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president in U.S. history.

I signed more laws and executive orders effectively amending or ignoring the Constitution
than any president in history.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for a
ctive duty troops and their families -- in war time.

I created the largest governmental department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in history.

Vote for me in 2004!

Dave Gambill told me a couple of pickup lines which should be entered in this contest.

1. At grocery store: "So, I see you like food. We already have a lot in common..."

2. At Krispy Kreme: "You like donuts? What a coincidence...I'm into fat chicks."

Here are a couple winners from the site I linked above:

"Look. I hope you won't take this as any sort of 'line,' but there literally is a party in my pants, and you actually are invited. I know how it sounds . . . " ? Reverend Smoothfield

This one only works on a woman holding a baby: "So, I see you like to fuck."
? Kevin Lessard

"I'm going outside to make out: care to join me?"
? Joey

I found an interesting article about Doctor Laura's stand on homosexuality. It seems that as an Orthodox Jew, she says that the practice is forbidden under the old testament. An unknown (or at least difficult to track down) source penned a letter to her, asking her questions related to the old testament:

Dear Dr. Laura

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 5:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 4:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

Ishkur just flat fucking rules. He might be an asshole in person...I don't know because I've never met him. However, his website cannot be denied. Trust me, there are those who would deny him...It just doesn't seem to work. I'm sticking his site on my sidebar for all you kids to peruse in your ample spare time. I knew I had to add it when he posted JadedRaver on his 'stupid rave site of the week'.

I dragged myself to a party at the Lorax last night. It wasn't a long drag. It was downstairs and I was already at the place hanging out with Ritchie, Dean, and Chris when it started. It was interesting seeing a bunch of kids who have probably definitely never been inside the place wandering around and getting a feel for the social dynamic. Ravers are so nice. It was the total opposite of the Lorax's past couple of hip hop fests, where kids were aggressively drunk, starting fights, and there were a lot of them. The party last night saw two DJs go through their sets without a damn person dancing to their music. I felt really bad for them becuase the jungle they were throwing down was sick. I was really impressed. The majority of kids in attendance apparently weren't because they spent most of the night either in the alley smoking and watching fire dancers or in the back yard...smoking. The party really only started to pick up at around 1 AM, when people started to get into the gabber playing upstairs. It was too late by then because everything shut down an hour later.

Bloggers aren't going to stand for an assault on their ability to satirize. Thus, in a fair and balanced response to Fox's lawsuit against Al Franken, bloggers around the globe have made today "Fair and Balanced" day, and are using the trademarked phrase freely and without fear of some stupid lawsuit. Why? Because it's protected speech under the first amendment of the constitution. Ha.

The east coast, namely NY, NJ, Michigan, and a few other places, have been hit with a massive blackout. The largest one ever, to be precise. It's hilarious. I know the whole east coast-west coast rivalry is supposed to be over, but I can't resist kicking them when they're down. I really hope it's not terrorism. That wouldn't be funny...Just kidding!!! Personally, I'd be terrified if the terrorists knocked out the power. There would be no TV or air conditioning. It would be tragic.

Sunday I saw the biggest dust devil I've ever witnessed. I think it may have been dust Satan. It rose seemingly thousands of feet into the sky, and the base was probably around a square acre. It was insane. It was a dust tornado. I saw it while driving through the Willamette valley, about three hundred yards from the Corvallis exit on I-5.

Has anyone ever seen a dust devil on this scale before? I've never seen anything that even came close. It looked like it could pick up a full-grown heifer.

Aubrey de Grey has been with the Department of Genetics at Cambridge University for more than 10 years. Over that time, his research has progressed from extensive work in mitchondrial mutations to a bigger problem: how to stop human aging. I met Aubrey at a recent gathering of Foresight Institute senior associates. With his long hair, longer beard, and deadpan English demeanor (make that demeanour), he didn't immediately strike me as the kind of guy who would have a hand in fundamentally redesigning the human experience.

But then I heard what he had to say.

What Aubrey has to say is explosive — aging is curable. The answer will soon be in our grasp if we devote the necessary resources to going after it.

Read more about what Aubrey has to say about the causes and cures for aging. It's heavy but interesting reading.

Perverted Justice is the best website I've seen...maybe ever. It documents the attempts made by men to seduce molest underage girls they meet in chat rooms. It contains the conversations and often the actual pictures and phone numbers of the wannabe molesters.

Check out Perverted Justice, where guys like this get busted for trying to have sex with 13-year-olds. Then call the guys up and tell them what you think about it. Mwhahahaha!

I sooooo wish I had one of these.

I got this from Mark Pilgrim's website:

Primate Programmers can produce code for even less than programmers from India! This is bad news for the subcontinent, but good news for the USA. It's the evolution of Java and .NET training!

Welcome. Primate Programming Inc. is dedicated to the advancement and gainful employment of non-human great apes within the United States information technology sector. We are the pioneer in Primate Programming (PP) worldwide.

This is great news. Now there's a way to keep software jobs in the country.

The Mystic Cowboy points out that if we're going to defer to the Bible for our decisions, we shouldn't just use it to support the decisions we want it to...

Adultry is a capital offense.

Leviticus 20:10

And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

Homosexuality is a capital offense.
Leviticus 20:13

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Don't work on the Sabbath. Don't even light a fire or turn on your heating. If you do it's curtains time.
Exodus 35:1-3

Moses called the entire assembly of the sons of Israel together and said to them: "These are the words that Jehovah has commanded, to do them: (2) Six days may work be done, but on the seventh day it will become something holy to YOU, a sabbath of complete rest to Jehovah. Anybody doing work on it will be put to death. (3) YOU must not light a fire in any of YOUR dwelling places on the sabbath day."

These are but excerpts...I highly recommend reading the entire post.

What is the deal with religion today? It's really impossible to follow the letter of the biblical law without being imprisoned for murder. Stoning someone to death for marital infidelity? The religions against homosexuality are interpreting the scripture extemely selectively.

I've made a new addition to my site: Mulling it photover. It's my hastily constructed photoblog which I threw together so I'd have a vehicle for my long-lost first grade photo. Go check it out. The link is also going on the sidebar, so when this entry disappears you can still peep it.

From now on, I'm going here for my meal plans. It has descriptions of the last meals of people who are about to be put to death in this country. Very interesting stuff.

Posted 12:47 PM by Mike
OKLAHOMA LAST MEAL
ROBERT DON DUCKETT
July 8, 2003

A very bad roommate...

Last Meal: a small pizza, a chili cheese coney, a half-gallon of cookie-dough ice cream and a vanilla Coke.

The skinny: Duckett was executed for beating a man to death with an ashtray stand and fireplace poker. Duckett was a 24-year-old prison escapee in October 1988 when he killed the man with whom he briefly shared an apartment.

Prosecutors said the man was killed because he wanted Duckett to move out. The defense alleged that Howard made a homosexual pass at Duckett, who suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder after a prison rape.

Howard Dean is either a genius or completely insane. I like this guy. Either way, he's got testicles the size of basketballs! Apparently he's running campaign ads...in Texas! He's spending $200,000 or so to put on ads in Austin while Dubya's vacationing 90 miles away.

Here's the transcript:

I'm Howard Dean.

I'm running for President and I approved this message because I want to change George Bush’s reckless foreign policy, stand up for affordable health care and create new jobs.

You know when you think about it; in the past two and a half years we have lost over two and a half million jobs.

And has anyone really stood up against George Bush and his policies? Don’t you think its time somebody did?

Visit my website, join my campaign, because its time to take our country back.

www.DeanForAmerica.com