I'm not every going to war. Period. I say this because I know that if I do so and I'm taken prisoner, the precedent for adherence to the Geneva Convention set by my county guarantees I'll be tortured, hidden from the Geneva convention, and possibly sodomized. Thanks, assholes.

The Guardian reports that as many as 100 prisoners were hidden from the International Red Cross in Abu Ghraib in what is a stunningly blatant violation of the Geneva Convention. It's astonishing to watch our country's leaders and military misrepresent and embarass us like this, knowing that the country remains almost perfectly divided over which candidate to elect in the upcoming election. I'll be perfectly frank: even if Osama bin Laden were running against Dubya, I'd vote for Osama in a heartbeat.

"But why would you do that, Barry? Osama is an insane religious fundamentialist, bent on destroying our government!"

Remember, the republican party is the party of Grover Norquist, who said "“I don’t want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.” Yeah, and Dubya's bee Born Again, and Pat "Mullah Omar" Robertson says God personally told him that George Bush will win in a blowout. Fortunately, Pat's hotline to God has very poor reception (or God just likes to jerk Pat around!).